Alarmed

Been having nightmares and really bad headache lately.

Nightmares of myself being at really high places, unable to come down, feeling stressed and afraid throughout the dream.

Nightmares of myself getting knocked down by a car, being able to see all my cuts and wounds, unable to do anything. Not daring to move.

Nightmares of myself being left alone.

Clogged

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

What the hell is wrong?

What a day…

Part time today is…. hmm… 

Thank goodness cr,ray,evan and lin’s there.

Presenting

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the disgusting clipboard, lol *named by cr*

Ka Da Boom

URGH!

Slap Kick Punch

Die !!!! Die !!!!!

Uahahahhaa

Addled by Choices, not

It will always haunt you, no matter who you are, how young or old are you.

People says its a blessing you get to decide on what you want, what makes you happy. Follow your heart and you’ll know what you want. Nonsense. I believe what YOU want is for what I want to be what YOU want. Get it? No? Doesn’t matter. I am not refering to anyone nor am i blaming any particular person.

How many of the people out there can do whatever they want, without hurting the people around them. Its either one choose to be real selfish and pursue their dreams no matter what it takes, or think about all the darn consequences and make the right choice, the “perfect” choice. Yay~ You’re happy, he’s happy, she’s happy, but guess what? I am not happy. HA-s who cares right? They’re happy. Whatever.

Hypocrisy.

PS: I started feeling all effed up after thinking about the route i will take in the future, and therefore, this post. Again, i am NOT refering to anyone in particular.

In a different way

Yea, am back.

Face cracked, rashes out and constant headache. Damn.

It’s a love hate relationship i have with the weather over at China. It’s damn cold and i like it..

BUT, my skin can’t stop peeling and it hurts ):  Urgh, all the wasted  moisturisers . Tons and tons of it wasn’t enough. I’m still feeling very cold here in sg though, defrosting maybe.

Now i feel damn blah-ish. IB test on monday, yet i’m still not in the mood to study for it. Although i’ve read thru the last 4 chapters. 5 more to go, can’t help feeling this subject is a blardy joke.

Oh, did i mention about steamboat last friday? Guess not. If i’m not wrong, its at chen fa don’t know what, over at novena. The food’s there good (: Happy that we didn’t have to bbq the meat ourselves :D

oh oh, and the hang out after that. Hmmmm… fun and quite alot was  learned =X Some disturbing scenes can just never be forgotten. lols.

And thanks again to the little boy in spects (:

Obnubilate

I hate theories. Entre test’s  sucks.  Accounting was easy. Intbus and Law next week. More theories, did i mention that i hate theories? oh.. i did.

Anyhow, Daniel will be away for 3 days, off to camp. 3 days! My little bro’s staying away from home for 3 whole days! Sigh, i’m gonna miss him ):

It’s a chore to stay awake.
But i don’t wanna sleep.
Time passes too quickly.
Clouded.
What do i want..

Here, There, Where? Everywhere.

Shopping with lin today after the short LAspBus project meeting. Yawns. Although i felt really drained, after all the thinking, confusion, blah, whatever, the shopping trip really helped. Bought a few christmas gifts (:

Chat, Bitched, Complained, Whine with her made me feel all better. It really does help when someone else understands. Not that i’m happy she knows the feeling too, but it just makes you feel better. Much better.

When it comes to shit situations like that, I am totally not capable of making any decision. How the hell do i choose when there is like, a thousand and one solutions in my mind. You told me the solution, and i’ll stick to it.
“Have a little more faith and trust, just don’t assume for the worst”

Thank you again girl.

Daddy God,
I do not want pretty dresses nor bags for Christmas,  Just little moments for my mind to rest, let it go blank, just like lin’s (: She told me, it’s pin drop silence inside her mind. I want that, I wanna close my eyes and rest too. For the sake of my sanity and for the people around me. Thats what i want for Christmas.

It defines acceptance

Alrighty. Was hurt, angry, upset, relieved, a mess. I’ve got no idea what happen and whats with the sudden change. But its alright. I mean, if its for the best, then why not.

Even though u were mean, but i don’t hate you. Not really. If that’s what u’ve decided on, your decision is respected.

I won’t forget you, nope, not totally. Like eelin had said, u came, and u left footprints.

It’s not that i don’t blame you or anything, yeah, i’m not an angel or whatever. But i won’t stay mad. Maybe this is the best. You moving on, thats what i’ve always been asking for. I feel kinda relieved too, the guilt moving away, the weight lightened. Maybe your decision is right after all. Good for everyone ((:

I will let go and be happy (:

Bah.

It is SO not worth it.